Aunty Doreen
She passed away Saturday morning, after combating a seriously aggresive cancer of the breast (something which seems to be increasing in occurence lately). She passed away without any pain, according to the doctors. But still, her death was unexpected, seeing as it was only her 5th chemo treatment. Finally, what caused her untimely passing was not the cancerous growth in her breast, but because of weakening effect of the chemotherapy. It totally killed her immune system, and she was too weak to fight back.
Aunty Doreen was the mother of my second cousins, albeit making her my second aunt. And, I regret saying that i never really knew her that well. In fact, I'm quite ashamed to say that i can't even remember what she looks like. But the hardest thing to do was to look into the eyes of my cousins. I'm not one to be at a total loss of words, but what do you say to your cousins, people with whom you played tag with in your childhood years, when their mother just passed away? It took all of me just to look into their eyes, which were sore and puffy, evidence from the recent weeping and release of pent-up grief.
The cancer was detected only in the month of June. Which makes it 4 short months in which Aunty Doreen fought the cancer. But it was an aggresive cancer, and it hit the lymph nodes pretty badly, causing it to spread to the rest of the body. From then on, it was like fighting a lost cause.
There haven't been any deaths in my life, of which I am eternally grateful. And this was the first time that I actually have a memory, a living memory and connection to the recently deceased. Its the weirdest and hardest thing to feel. Standing in front of the altar, praying for the soul of the recently departed to find peace and happiness.
The memory will stay with me forever. I will always remember my uncle shaking his head in disbelief. A full 12 hours after the pronounced death, Uncle Bee Huat was still shaking his head in disbelief. It literally tore at my guts to see him stumble around in a daze, numbly shaking the hands of the people that came to pay respects.
I hope you find all the peace in the world, wherever you may be now, Aunty Doreen. Your family loves you, misses you and is with you always.