How to Tell If You Are Truly Chinese
Tick where applicable.
Each "yes" wins you one point
1. You use "foong yao" to cure everything - mosquito bites, headaches, flue, fainting spells, nausea, sinusitis, oothache, raches, even period cramps and as an insect repellent.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
2. You eat all parts of the pig, including the ears, trotters, intestines, blood, brain and dandruff ("chee tow pei")
[ ] Yes [ ] No
3. You have a long fingernail for "prosperity" and other "hygiene" purposes.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
4. You don't own any real Tupperware - only a cupboard full of margarine and ice cream tubs, peanut butter and jam jars, Milo tins and take-away plastic containers.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
5. You fight to pay the dinner bill.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
6 You see people coming back and still ask "You come back already ah?"
[ ] Yes [ ] No
7. Your parents always wanted you to be a doctor, engineer, accountant, architect or lawyer, and if you're a girl, to marry one.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
8. You know why this list comprises of eight questions.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Grades:
9-10 pts - You, like all true Chinese, got top marks!
7-8 pts - Chances are, you are Chinese, and you know the difference between Kung Fu Tze and Lao Fu Tze.
5-6 pts - There is a possibility that you are Chinese. Please confirm with your parents to be sure.
3-4 pts - You are the reason why this is written in English
2 and below - Banana!